Thanksgiving Guilt

Last year at this time I addressed boundaries and how to use them effectively to have a good holiday season. After giving a presentation to my community about boundaries and family of choice I heard a resounding theme. Guilt. It seemed the crowd had a great grasp on the concept of boundaries including how to use them and how to make them effective. The questions came as we shifted the focus to family of choice. Family of choice refers to those…

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Showing up for life 

The theme of my week has been the importance of showing up. In a world where with the click of a mouse and/or the swipe of a debit card we can send condolences, comfort, and pseudo connection I’ve been struck by the power of showing up. No one can read your mind and often our intentions are assumed by others. By showing up we communicate our thoughts and intent clearly.  Here are some ideas of how to show up in…

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3 Reasons Couples Therapy is so Important

Attachment turns us all into toddlers: The great John Bowlby pioneered research on attachment. He found that when people or animals are denied their primal need to be attached to their mother or father, they self destruct and go into a full on fit in protest. Sue Johnson later found in her research that humans are the same way with their husband/wife/partners. These relationships become just as imperative of a bond. People will self destruct and throw a full on tantrum…

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Pop Psychology

I saw this article titled, Why You Should Never Go Back To Someone Who’s Hurt You by Sophia Wu, from Huffington Post circulating through my Facebook feed. It’s a great example of a common pattern I see as a therapist. This describes what I would call, a pursue withdraw pattern. Both parties are participating in keeping this cycle going as the author points out. The pursuer so infatuated, continues to do so at all costs, and the other continues to…

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