Holding on In 2020

“This is what we do in Oregon. We take care of one another.” Governor Kate Brown “Eat good quality food and make good decisions.” Chef Rich Hull at A Broken Angel These two phrases are pinging around my mind this morning. I like many of you have struggled as life adversity has stacked up upon the ambiguous loss from COVID we are all in together. I know I am not alone, these stressors stacking upon us all like a delicately…

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Called to Evolve

I’ve tried many times to write something meaningful since going into COVID lockdown but have come up short many times. The situation feels like it’s continuing to evolve and showing up fresh and ready to serve my clients to the best of my ability via video conferencing has been all I can seem to muster. The common denominator of all the recent events we are experiencing together is that each one of us is being called to evolve. For our…

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Yeah, but is virtual therapy awkward?

To be honest, when I leapt into offering phone and video conference sessions March 15th this was my thought too. I was uncertain how it would go but I felt called to protect some of my more vulnerable clients. What really sealed the deal was finding research that video and phone sessions are equally as effective as in person sessions. After five weeks, I can say with confidence, it isn’t awkward! Well, that is probably a nerdy therapist over statement……

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Eight Dates Challenge Week Six – Play with Me, Fun and Adventure

The Basics: This  chapter is a bit longer than the last, weighing in at 24 pages.  Despite the added length, I found this chapter to be a very quick read, and most couples should be able to work through it very easily in a week when sharing a single copy of the book.  The date recommendations included in this chapter might require an extra step or two of planning together, so if you are planning on a Friday night date,…

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Eight Dates Challenge – Week 5 – Room to Grow – Family

The Basics This chapter delves into a crucial topic on how to communicate about your idea of what type of family that you want to build as a couple.  It is a very quick read for such a deep topic, at 13-14 pages.  This one is very easy to read through and hand off to your partner.  So, if you get to your planned date and you haven’t read the chapter yet, it would be pretty easy to get caught…

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Eight Dates Challenge – Week 4 – Work & Money

Welcome to week four of our progress in the Gottman’s Eight Week Challenge! In case you were keeping track or read our previous blogs, you might be wondering to yourself “wasn’t week three of the challenge in April ?” Clearly we have not been able to keep up with the eight week challenge as it was laid out. Life presented us many personal and professional obstacles for us to overcome. So just as we teach our clients, it is always…

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Eight Dates Challenge – Week Two – Addressing Conflict

Welcome to the second week of our progress in the Gottman 8 week couples challenge! Quick recap:  Joella and I have decided to read and participate in the activities featured in the Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Julie Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams and then share some of our reflections on the experience.  Last week, we addressed trust and commitment.  This week, the topic moves on to addressing conflict in our…

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Eight Dates Challenge – Week One – Trust and Commitment

It almost never fails that when Joella and I are introduced to new people and they find out that we are both Marriage and Family Therapists either one of two lines will follow.  Either, “You guys must have the perfect marriage… I bet you never fight.”  or “Wow, I bet you guys can really duke it out!”  This always highlights for me that we live under the impression that relationships are either “good” or “bad”.  That either partners get along,…

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Eight Dates Challenge

At Cascadia Family Therapy, when we begin to work with a couple, an essential task we ask couples to engage in during the course of therapy is date night. Not only are dates an important part of a healthy relationship, they also become time set aside with intention to discuss therapy. It is exciting that the Gottmans have now written a book on this topic. Dr. John Gottman is an incredible researcher who has the ability to take the softer…

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