The Unique Opportunity We All Have

This morning as I sat down to make a plan for how I’d like the business to operate during this time it occurred to me that these are very unique circumstances. My mind was drawn back to September 11th, 2001. The last time in my memory that our economy and life was tangibly interrupted. It occurred me that during that event, unless you were a person or family directly affected, the rest of us had to figure out how to…

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Repairing a Relationship

It has been an embarrassingly long time since I have sat down to reflect and write in this space. Michael and I have been spending most of our time providing therapy to some incredible couples over the past few months. Time flies when we are working together… it is such a privilege to do this work. Something we keep running into time and time again is the myth that when couples enter therapy the past wounds will be covered with…

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Interconnected

One of my favorite parts about being a marriage and family therapist (or systems therapist) is that we can pick from a wide variety of context to create change. Our minds and bodies are deeply connected and our relationships and environment are also connected to us. When you think of humans in the way, you can see how picking one area of life and making a positive change can impact the other areas. If you are stuck in some area…

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At The Speed of Life

Sitting down and writing about therapy is one of my favorite things to do. Being a marriage and family therapist requires a lot of reflection not just on what clients bring in but on what I am saying, doing, suggesting, inferring, the list goes on! For me therapy is equal parts where have you been and where you are going. In fact, the best part of my craft is that I have the honor of dreaming for my clients. When…

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Co-Couples Therapy

To be honest, I am just as surprised as you. There is a part of me that has been trained by our society to believe that there is no way something I enjoy so much could benefit the world. Isn’t work supposed to be dull and mundane? Long ago when I graduated with my masters degree in marriage and family therapy and Michael started his, we had hoped one day to work together. At that time, we thought working together…

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The Resistance

Over the summer I have been pursuing all sorts of creative endeavors. Painting, music, videography, anything and everything that piques my interest. To me having a creative outlet is a key ingredient to self-care. And as a therapist, I am always seeking to add to my self-care repertoire. These creative endeavors lead me to the book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.  I have not been able to put this book down! The concept is that art is a…

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?Unified Couples

“One of the largest, strongest horses in the world is the Belgian draft horse. Competitions are held to see which horse can pull the most, and one Belgian can pull eight thousand pounds. The weird thing is if you put two Belgian horses in the harness who are strangers to each other, together they can pull twenty to twenty four thousand pounds. Two can pull not twice as much as one but three times as much as one. This example…

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autonomy

The longer I practice therapy the more passionate I become about client autonomy. Autonomy from a sociological perspective defined by wikipedia is, “the capacity of a rational individual to make an informed, un-coerced decision.” The foundation of my work is in reflecting back what clients present as the problem or their perspective, educating clients about what I know (typically what research says) and sharing my perspective as a professional. With these components clients will often uncover more options. More options…

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4 Ways to Change (right now!)

There is a tendency in our culture to think that change, like love, is just something that happens. However, there are steps or access points to engage in change. Use a combination of these access points and watch the results pile up. I will list these from easiest to more difficult. Physical State: One way to encourage yourself to think differently or make different decisions is to get in a good work out. If you are using a workout for…

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Listen to Understand

Some times therapy gets boiled down to simple tasks. I was reminded of this while taking voice lessons. My instructor continually pushes me to “stand up straight… but not too straight.” At first this felt so frustrating. Number 1; I felt often that I was standing up straight. Number 2; I understand it is important but sheesh, how much time can one really spend practicing something that should come naturally. In therapy, this shows up as discussing simple communication. It…

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